Benefits Of The Misunderstood Affirmation

Affirmations get a bad rap by many in the areas of personal
growth and development, and at the same time by others are
touted as the magic to changing your life. There are those
who tell you that using affirmations is THE way to changing
your thinking thus changing your life, and others who say
they are a useless waste of time.

Here I will attempt to clarify and set straight the place
and value of affirmations in your self improvement efforts
to change and grow in your life. The topic of affirmations
fits into what I call "A fine line." There is a fine line
between going too far one way or the other. To get the
value from something you must find the "fine line" place in
the middle, too far one way or the other, and you lose it.
And so it is with affirmations.

First, some of the misconception comes from people grasping
for the quick fix. We all know how we can easily read into
something what we want. And that what most people are
looking for is the quickest, easiest way to make changes in
their life, which does really not exist.

All related factors must be addressed to realize real
results. Affirmations do play a role in your overall self
development and growth but are certainly not the only tool
that must be used to get the results you want. Affirmations
alone will not bring about the major change in life some
believe, on the other hand they are not totally worthless
as many others make them out to be.

Much of what is taught in the personal growth and
development field is just part of the story. Where someone
has focused on one or even a few aspects of what is
involved and highlighting just those parts, which gives the
impression that, that is all there is. Yes, in short change
it is simple, but there are many 'between the lines'
aspects that come into play, and one of these is
affirmations.



It's easy to allow ourselves to get consumed with one
aspect of life development when our focus is on just one
element, which is the case with many books and trainings.
It is good to study and focus on one aspect if this is
something specifically you feel you need to learn and user,
but don't forget about the whole picture.

Now those who say that just using affirmations will fix
your life, seem to 'forget' about the aspects of action,
among other things, which we can't escape as we are in this
physical reality. Yes, your thoughts and your feelings play
a crucial role in how you manage and develop your life, but
that's not all. You must take appropriate actions, it's
your job, your design here in this physical reality we
enjoy. If we weren't suppose to be involved physically why
are we here?

And, those who say affirmations are worthless are missing
out on a powerful tool that has some purpose when one is
working on their thinking. And, yes, your thinking is
absolutely critical as everything revolves around it. I
think why some people look down on the use of affirmations
comes from their reaction to others who say that
affirmations are all you need. But this all or nothing
reaction does not serve anyone well.

Here are some ways that affirmations are useful in your
self improvement work:

* Affirmations help set your tone. Your overall attitude
and feeling will affect what you think about. It affects
how you act and interact with others. It virtually colors
your day. Using affirmations will help direct your daily
tone.

* Affirmations help keep your thinking positive - on what
you want and away from what you don't want. If affirmations
serve no other purpose for you than this, it makes them
well worth using, if all you do is use affirmations to
replace unwanted thinking with desirable thinking you have
won big. A critical part of change is to learn to stop
focusing on what you don't want and rather focus on what
you do want.

* Affirmations help build mental discipline. As you learn
affirmations and actually use them regularly, you are
training your mind to a different way of thinking on a
daily basis. You are learning how you can change your
thought and how to keep it as you want. You are learning to
take command of your thinking by directing it rather than
allowing everything to be automatic.

* Affirmations help evolve your thinking in the direction
you want. As you develop affirmations for yourself, you are
thinking about and expanding your thinking in the areas
that you want to play a greater role in your life. The more
you work with developing affirmative and supportive
statements, the more you will discover what is possible.

Now, maybe if your thinking is already 100% supportive of
what you want in life, where you are going, and you never
slip into any thought of doubt, worry and what you don't
like, you don't need affirmations. Actually if this is the
case, you have already assimilated the affirmation like
thought into your everyday thinking. Your conscious mind is
already always on the positive, supportive congruent
thoughts of your ideal life as it is freely unfolding. For
anyone else, affirmations can be a useful tool.

Affirmations are a wonderful tool for effecting your
thinking, which is very important in your growth and
development, as long as you don't get stuck thinking that
this is all you need to do. It takes more than just your
thoughts to see results, but developing your thinking is
key to your knowing the right actions to take, when and how
to get the results you want.


----------------------------------------------------
John Halderman, I write about effective self improvement
methods, more specifically how you can bridge the gap
between information and creating effective results. To
learn more about what you just read here and to discover
how this can help you change your life, follow this
link-http://effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

Infidelity Today

What is going on with infidelity today? It seems as though many people are just beginning to tolerate their cheating spouse. Many believe that the economy has a lot to do with this. In fact, the economy is not only destroying marriages, but it's making people tolerate misery.

Sources say that surveillance has declined by 75%. What does that mean? It means more and more, people are not using the services offered by a private investigator to catch their spouse cheating. This is terrible considering people still want to use the services, they just can't afford it.

People can no longer afford stopping affairs, so they are forced to tolerate them. If you can't afford the services of a private investigator, and think your spouse may be cheating, it's best if you learn how to uncover the affair yourself, and learn some sneaky, at-home Private Eye Tricks.


It's more than just checking their phone for text messages. And what about deleted texts? Do you know how to get them?

It used to be that you could look for hotel receipts or check the credit card statement, buy economic times are difficult, and even cheating spouses are cutting back.

Instead of a night at the hotel it's a romp in the back seat of the car in some tucked away parking lot. No more fancy dinners or weekend getaways.

I also just read a statistic from divorce lawyers. The poll suggested divorce is down 37%. This, on the surface, sounds like a good thing. But the reality is that people are just not spending money on this either. It's cheaper to stay with your spouse than divorce.

This is particularly true when the female is a stay at home wife. With unemployment at the rate it is, it's too difficult for her to find work, so without the support of her husband, she feels hopeless.

That said, she is likely to "deal" with her husband's affair rather than face the fear of being left alone with nowhere to turn.

To learn more about "How To Catch A Cheating Spouse", visit the link below to get a FREE 21 page report!


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Brandon Grittini is the author of the E-Book "Cheating Spouses Revealed". It's a comprehensive book that is instantly downloadable from the internet and can be delivered to you in a matter of seconds. You will be walked through an affair from how they happen, how to catch your spouse cheating, and finally, how to recover from the affair. To get your copy, visit http://CheatingSpousesRevealed.com and sign up for the FREE 21 page report!
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Marriage Inspiration: Do You Believe You Can Change?

So things can get tough, I know. Especially in this economy. So I decided to make this blog more about creating and inspiring you, rather than only focusing on problems in relationships. I am going to post articles to move and inspire change in you, making you a happier person. This change WILL lead to a happier marriage.

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Do You Believe You Can Change, Or Not?

Personal growth and development is an ongoing process and
many people seeking to make changes in their lives know
that any success comes from changing their thought. But
also many find this to be not as straight forward as they
thought. With the movie, "The Secret" the Law of Attraction
has been brought out and embraced by many, but the movie
actually is just a basic introduction on the Law of
Attraction not a full blown 'how to' course.

Unfortunately many are left thinking that all they need to
do is think their way into any success or new life
experience. Managing your thinking is a large part of how
you make changes but not all there is to it. It does not
help that some teachers just do focus on the changing of
your thought without delving any deeper. This basic part of
The Law of Attraction deals with only your conscious
thought, but does not get into the power your unconscious
thought holds over your everyday thinking, feeling and
behavior.

One of the major factors that come into play when you are
trying to change your thinking is with your unconscious
thinking, and most importantly your beliefs. You have deep
seated beliefs that have been established, mostly without
your awareness, and are an integral part of your automatic
operating system. These beliefs are how you have chosen to
view yourself, the world, other people and everything that
goes on around you. How you see everything, how you react
to it and the actions you take are greatly regulated by a
set of beliefs.

Now, you are probably aware of some of your beliefs, but
just because you can't describe them all does not mean they
are not there. Many people either are not aware of the
extent of these beliefs or they choose to ignore them
hoping they can override them with changing their conscious
thought, it usually doesn't happen this way.

One of the beliefs that can have a profound affect on you
relates to your ability to make changes. If you have been
having difficulty making any changes you may be being
blocked by your beliefs related to your ability to change
or have anything better. Your beliefs are locked in to your
automatic unconscious operating system, so everything you
think is filtered through those resident beliefs. You can't
fool them or bypass them.

Here are some key questions to ask yourself, and you may
know the answers by some feelings you've had without
knowing exactly why you have had them.

* Do you believe you can instigate change in your life or
is that up to someone or something else?

* Do you believe you are worthy of the changes you say you
want?

If you can answer yes to either or both of these questions
or you have a strong feeling that you can, you have beliefs
that support those ideas. Giving those questions some deep
thought, you should know if they are true for you, as you
will likely have had related feelings in several areas of
your life.

Here's the bottom line, your thoughts and beliefs will
determine the outcome of your efforts. The difference is
that your conscious thoughts are visible to you and the
unconscious is not. And the unconscious patterns such as
beliefs have been verified and confirmed many times in your
life, these are 'known facts' to your unconscious mind.

Day in and day out, these beliefs are there to filter and
direct your thoughts, feelings and actions with regard to
the specific belief. As you follow the direction of these
automatic beliefs you are further validating them, thus
providing them with more proof and power within your
overall collection of thoughts.



All the efforts you want to make to changing your life will
go in vain if you hold a belief that you can't instigate
change, that you are unworthy of the change you want, or
that you must wait for it to be done to you or for you. If
this is the case with you, you will need to address this
belief before you can have, do or be anything different
from what you experience right now. Your current experience
is the result of your thinking, which includes your
beliefs. Your current life experience is the evidence of
what caused it.

So, if you have not been able to change after much effort,
there is a reason. Some thought patterns are preventing it
and it's most likely unconscious beliefs. You can actually
believe anything you want, you just need to know that you
can and that you can alter the existing beliefs if you
choose.

Your continued personal growth and self realization depends
on a firm belief that you can instigate change yourself,
and that all the power in the universe will support your
thoughts just as it does the commands contained in a small
seed The only difference is that you can change your
thought, but the seed must stick with what it came with.


----------------------------------------------------
John Halderman, I write about effective self improvement
methods, more specifically how you can bridge the gap
between information and creating effective results. To
learn more about what you just read here and to discover
how this can help you change your life, follow this link,
http://effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

Relationship Advice: Creating Intimacy

Creating Intimacy is a challenge for a lot of couples. Intimacy is more than something sexual that occurs in the bedroom. Intimacy is the emotional connection with you and the one you love.

The biggest fundamental building block to creating intimacy in your relationship is communication. Unfortunately, most couples are afraid to communicate. Fear can hold a lot of couples back. Fear is the biggest reason most people wed the wrong person.

Intimacy is creating by sharing your positive and negative experiences with your lover. It is not a challenging or threatening conversation; it's intent should be to move the relationship forward.

You should not be telling your partner everything they are doing wrong. It will certainly put them on the defensive, and prompt them to fire back at you, and possibly even run away.

What you should do to increase the intimacy is to communicate your FEELINGS! This is something that too few people do, and it affects the growth of their relationship. One thing that can never be challenged is your feelings. That is what makes them YOURS!

When you express how something makes you feel, your partner is more willing to accept that they need to change. In most cases, their intent is not to hurt you, so presenting it this way will make them receive it and commit to change.

If you were to challenge them by telling them that what they did was wrong, they wouldn't see it, and would attack back. This is because most of the time their intentions are good. If they didn't mean to hurt you, they can't accept it.

Creating Intimacy starts with communicating with your partner. Be sure to communicate in a non-attacking fashion, and your message will be better received.

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Brandon Grittini is the author of the book "Cheating Spouses Revealed". He studies relationships and how to make them better. If you are interested in learning more, you can get more advice for relationships by visiting the homepage of his new website, AdvisingCouples.com.

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Relationship Mistakes: 5 Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Relationship

Relationship mistakes can really threaten your happiness. Most of the time, you don't even know you are making relationship mistakes. You think you're being romantic, special, and a warm, good lover.

But why do the same fights keep happening over and over again, then? Well, I guess everything isn't going exactly to plan.

Here is a little dating and realtionship advice to help you keep a happy relationship once you land the partner of your dreams. If you avoid these 5 common relationship mistakes, you're already better off than most of the poplulation.

These are not in any particlular order.

1. You Assume Too Much!--This is the biggest barrier to effective communication in your relationship. Don't assume you know everything about your partner, especially how they feel.

2. You Ask Lawyer's Questions--A lawyer's question is one that you already know the answer to. Lawyers are trained to ask questions this way. They are questions that build their case. Your relationship is not always about you being right. Ask detective questions, which get to the truth.

3. Rush Into Sex--You've probably done this one too! You can't rush into sex. You have to take things slow, and really get to know someone. This is hard, especially if you haven't been laid in a while, but if you have sex too soon, it becomes expected, and you may never establish true intimacy.

4. Treat Your Partner Like Crap--Would you treat your boss the way you treat your lover? Many times, we put our partner's down without even knowing it. We bully them, yell at them, and fail to respect them. These same things would get you fired at work, yet we expect our lover to stick around.

5. Settle For The Wrong Person--Why settle? You have to have respect for you first, and you can't let your fears allow you to settle for someone that doesn't make you happy. Learn to love being alone, and you will learn to be happy without the person who is ultimately destroying you.


There are many more relationship mistakes, but if you just learn these five, understand them, and avoid them, you will be well on your way to a happy relationship.

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If you liked this blog, share your comments. Do you have other mistakes that keep happening to you? Let other readers know by leaving a comment.

You can get more advice like this, from some of the best dating and relationship experts around, by visiting AdvisingCouples.com. They've partnered with some of the top dating and relationship coaches and put together the best tele-seminar series of it's kind. If you'd like to learn more, visit their homepage for dating and relationship advice.
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Dating Advice: Where Do You Sit?

I'm not sure where you sit when you go out on a date, but for me, I'm the kind of guy who sits across from my date. I like to look at her, engage in the conversation, and show her that I really care about what she has to say.

I know some people love sitting next to each other, but I just don't get it. That's why when I read this article about a little where do you sit dating advice, I had to send it your way.

It's a pretty good article, and does share one theory about why people do sit on the same side of the booth. I never thought of it either. Have you?

Even if you don't go check out the article, although you should, it's pretty funny, let me know where you like to sit. Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that people sit on the same side?

Now stop paying attention to me and grab some dating advice!

Dating Advice: Weight Loss Secrets

If you want some dating advice, here it is: take pride in yourself. It sounds easy, I know, but you have to make yourself look good.

Taking a little pride in yourself and your appearance shows some strong qualities about you and who you really are. It shows that you care, that you are prideful, that you have a little ambition. The opposite sex will appreciate that very much.

There is a lot you can do to show a committment to yourself, but today, I want to talk about weight loss.

Many people are afraid of diets, exercise, and whatever else they can think of. This is something to really concentrate on. This isn't just dating advice either, you really should look good for your partner if you are in a relationship, but most of all, you should really look good for YOU!

I don't care what people tell you. Most diets are fads. They lose steam fast. Honestly, how often do you hear someone talk about the "Atkins Diet" anymore?

Weight loss isn't easy, but there are things that can make it easier. You can exercise, of course, eat better, and find some of the tricks the starts use. The latter is the hardest to discover, because unless you're among the whose who in Hollywood, you're out.

Until now. I'm not making any promises or guarantees, but if you're serious about weight loss and want to try the newest Hollywood Diet, then you have to check out the Acai Berry from the Amazon.

This little fruit is like weight loss magic! If there is such a thing. And if you don't believe me, go to the Acai Berry Website and sign up for a FREE trial. They'll send you a months worth of pills to try out, and all you pay is shipping of $6.95.

And they have a 60 day guarantee. If you don't think this little magic berry is helping you to lose weight, then send back whatever you have left and they will refund your money!

So try before you buy. You don't have to take my word for it. They are backing up this Acai Berry with their own wallet.

So if you are serious about losing weight, and don't want to commit to an exercise program, then this little berry can help you lose your tummy for less than the cost of a gym membership.

If you've already tried this out, share your story by making a comment. That way everyone else will know that this is the real deal, and I'm not just making this up. But really, they are backing it up by letting you try it for free and giving you a 60 day money back guarantee.

If you are looking for more tips on how to lose your belly fat and get rock hard abs or a flat sexy stomach, then join the newsletter that keeps you updated.

Catch A Cheating Spouse: Fake Your Caller ID

Catch your spouse cheating with this cool little trick I just learned about. If you ever wonder if your spouse is cheating on you, this is a stealth method for catching them.

You're not gonna find this trick everywhere, but there is an article about it that I posted on an article site. This could piss off a lot of cheaters, because it's a useful way to catch your lover cheating without them knowing it's you!

It's gonna piss the cheater's off because they think they will be talking to the person they are cheating with, and you will shock them with the reality that it's you!

Now, I could tell you more about it, but I'd like you to read the article I posted. You'll learn what the trick is, how to use it, and where to get it!

So go read my article, and learn how to catch a cheating spouse!

Twitter: What The Heck Is It?

Social media is taking over. Facebook. MySpace. Digg. Stumble. And Twitter? What the heck is Twitter?

There is a good chance, since there are 100 million ACTIVE users, that you are using Facebook. So what the heck is Twitter, you ask again.

Twitter is a status update, kind of like the "what are you doing know" bar on FaceBook. Twitter is a community of people where you can share what you're doing now with all of your friends, called "Followers".

Unlike Facebook, you can have unlimited numbers of people following you. Every time you give an update, all of you followers will see what you're up to. Then they can comment directly to you, or they can comment indirectly to the masses.

It's a great tool to see what's up. And you can search Twitter to find information that interests you. For instance, in the search area, type in a topic you're looking for. Let's say, "dating advice". It will pull up every "tweet" where someone has used the term "dating advice".

Using this feature, you can:
1. Find new people to follow because they share common interests
2. Read their "tweet". It's usually a short message that will often direct you to a blog or article about what you're looking for.

Once you read their "tweet", you click the link they offer and read the message, which goes into more detail about the topic.

You can also just send a "tweet" to your friends to let them know you are going out to your favorite spot, or whatever. I'm telling you, it's great.

Get to know Twitter. Everyone is doing it. And the best part.....It's FREE!

Yeah. That's right. It costs you absolutely nothing to stay connected, let everyone know what you're doing know, and sift through information to quickly find exactly what you're looking for.

So go to Twitter. Register an account (FREE). And start searching and following people that interest you. Soon, you'll have a whole list of people following you wondering what you are doing now!

Be the popular person on the internet. Join now and tell your friends about it.

PS: You can get it to link directly with your Facebook profile, so every time you type in Twitter, it automatically updates in your Facebook profile! Awesome!

Relationship Advice

Single. Married. Divorced. There are different problems each of us face in relationships, but typically, the same problems happen over and over again. Who wants access to information that will help them find happiness in their relationship?

Happiness seems hard to come by. You fight. You argue. And you fight and argue some more. Do you ever wonder why the same arguments keep happening? How many times to you ask yourself if you're with the right person?

Relationships aren't easy. What makes them particularly hard is that we ever never taught how to be in a relationship. There is no school, no textbook, no homework. It's all learn as we go. The closest thing to lessons we have is learning from our parents. But let's be real. How healthy is their relationship?

What if there was a course out there that could help you? What if you could avoid common relationship mistakes? Learn how to meet the right person? Learn what you're doing wrong? Learn how to get your partner to commit?

The program will soon be available. AdvisingCouples.com is developing a members only program with the top relationship experts in the country. It's an audio series, that will download directly to your computer. No shipping, no physical product, no need to feel embarrassed. It's totally discreet, and totally for you.

If you need relationship advice, they've got you covered. Single? They will teach you where to find the right person and what to look for in your mate. Married? They will teach you how to overcome the common struggles marriage presents. Divorced? Life isn't over. You can find the relationship that will make you totally happy, even after a divorce.

They've interviewed top experts to reveal secrets others have been hesitant to share. You can gain access to this program by visiting the site and registering so you can be notified when the doors to membership open.

Create a healthy relationship and find your true love!

Who Hates Valentines Day?

Ah, another Valentines Day. And who knows what it really is, besides a day that you are told you should really love the one you're with, and if you're alone, a day to feel like a complete loser because you don't have someone to share it with.

If you're single, it really sucks! I remember when people would ask what I was doing on Valentines day. What are you supposed to say? It's like you're reminded that you don't have anyone, and you feel more alone. You also can't go hang out with any of your friends who have someone, because they are "celebrating" Valentines day.

And how many people complain about it. Men that they have to buy stuff for their lady, and women because it's really a false sense of love they get from their man. Why can't he buy you flowers on random days? Doesn't it mean less if he's told to do it?

Roses. More and more, even women hate roses. Why? Because it's so cliche! They want men to be a little more creative, so they feel a little more special.

Is Valentine's day a Hallmark holiday? Of course it is. If you bought a card, flowers, candy, or jewelry just because of what day it is, Hallmark won.

So what's your story? What are your Valentine's day thoughts? Do you love it? Hate it? I want to hear your reasons why. Just click on the comment tab below and let me know what you think. And if you're looking for relationship advice, there is a site that can help.

Connect And Commit

I just finished recording an interview with one of the internet's most well known Relationship Author/Expert, Amy Waterman.

Amy agreed to share some information from her soon to be released book, "Connect And Commit: The Definitive Path To A Strong, Committed Relationship". We'll post a link to that book as soon as it becomes available. In the meantime, if you'd like to hear the interview, there is only one way to do so.

Visit our website, Relationship Solutions, and register for the Free Newsletter. We'll give you a free gift just for doing so. Then, when the interview is released, we will email you details of how you can get it!

Since most people can't wait, I will share a little about what Amy and I discussed. Naturally, we talked a lot about commitment, since that is what her new book is about, but we covered some other topics as well.

First, we covered 6 stages of every relationship.
1. Fall In Love
2. Reality Check
3. Power Struggle
4. Re-Evaluation
5. Reconciliation
6. Acceptance

In the interview, we discuss in detail more about each stage, but it's important to note a few key things. What is most astonishing is that only 1 out of 20 couples, or 5%, actually reach the final stage, Acceptance. That may explain the high divorce rates! This Acceptance stage is where we actually feel the overused term, "Unconditional Love".

In relationships, we often turn to "blame", when things don't go our way. We can blame our lover for why we are unhappy, but in reality, you must first look within yourself, and find your own imperfections. When you can spot your own imperfections, you can truly begin to grow your relationship. You will find that you are not perfect, and neither is your partner. The question is, whether or not you are perfect for each other.

I don't want to give away the entire interview, so if you want to learn more, visit Relationship Solutions, and register for our newsletter! If you want to look at some of Amy's work that is available to you, check out her site on Attracting and Approaching The Opposite Sex!

Don't be afraid to share your stories, comments, or questions. Click the comment tab below and tell us what's on your mind. And keep checking the blog. We'll tell you a little more of what Amy shared with us. Don't miss her advice on common relationship mistakes people make, and what to do when your partner won't commit!

Relationship Advice: Where Do You Need?

Everyone seems to have relationship trouble at one point or another, and sometimes, you need a place to turn. Have you ever turned to the Internet to seek Relationship Advice?

It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. In fact, it is one of the best places to turn. Not only do you get great advice from experts, but you are able to keep it confidential. The expert doesn't even know who you are, so you don't have to worry about it getting back.

What do people look for on the internet? Well, it varies depending on your situation. Some want to know where to find love, if the one they are with is the "right one", if they have a cheating spouse, or how to create a loving relationship.

The possibilities are as endless as the answers. So what do you look for when you turn to the internet for relationship advice? Let me know by leaving a comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.