Does My Spouse Still Love Me?

You have been married for quite a while now, and you feel like the interest from your spouse is fading. It's a natural feeling, and for good reason. Sometimes it drives you nuts and you can't help but wonder, "Does my spouse still love me?"

Courtship:

When we start dating someone, we do our best to try and impress them, making them believe we are the perfect person for them. If we really like this person we are trying to impress, we work harder and harder at trying to get them to like us. We constantly talk to them, learn who they are, what they like and what they dislike, becoming more and more familiar with them.

We care about what kind of day they had and how they are feeling. Then, after spending time courting this person, we feel like they are the right one, and think we can spend forever with them.

Upon this discovery, you propose entering into a marital relationship. But what happens when the courtship is over and the marriage begins?

Marriage:

Typically what I find is that people feel like marriage is the end all, and that they can just go through the motions to make it last. But NO marriage will last with that type of attitude. In fact, no relationship would. You would not be married to the person you are if you didn't work everyday and showing interest and proving that you care.

Your caring attitude and unconditional love is what drew you to your spouse in the first place. You likely could have found someone else to marry if you worked at another relationship as hard as you worked while you courted your spouse.

Why stop, then? People often get lazy when they get married. We see it in all apsects. Too often you stop dating your spouse, stop caring for them, stop wondering how their day was, what new things they learned today, and what new interests or dislikes they have.

If you fall into this category, you've probably gotten lazy at other things as well. You may not try as hard to maintain your appearance, you may not exercise, perform activities you otherwise used to, or even cared as much about yourself.

It Takes Work:

Marriage takes work to sustain. Keep paying attention to your spouse and yourself. Keep doing the things you did when you were courting your spouse. When you are unsure of what to do or how to act, by all means, ask your spouse. This is a great way to build communication with your spouse, ask them how they are doing, if they are happy, and what more you can do to make them even happier.

Your spouse will appreciate that you've paid attention to their needs and that you still care how they feel. With improved communication, you can keep learning more about your spouse grow together every day. You may find new things to do together, new places to go, and increased love and affection between the two of you.

Remember, marriage is not an end to anything. Keep working at your marriage and you will live a long and happy life with your spouse.