Relationship Solutions

Benefits Of The Misunderstood Affirmation

2009-03-09T19:53:00.003-04:00

Affirmations get a bad rap by many in the areas of personal
growth and development, and at the same time by others are
touted as the magic to changing your life. There are those
who tell you that using affirmations is THE way to changing
your thinking thus changing your life, and others who say
they are a useless waste of time.

Here I will attempt to clarify and set straight the place
and value of affirmations in your self improvement efforts
to change and grow in your life. The topic of affirmations
fits into what I call "A fine line." There is a fine line
between going too far one way or the other. To get the
value from something you must find the "fine line" place in
the middle, too far one way or the other, and you lose it.
And so it is with affirmations.

First, some of the misconception comes from people grasping
for the quick fix. We all know how we can easily read into
something what we want. And that what most people are
looking for is the quickest, easiest way to make changes in
their life, which does really not exist.

All related factors must be addressed to realize real
results. Affirmations do play a role in your overall self
development and growth but are certainly not the only tool
that must be used to get the results you want. Affirmations
alone will not bring about the major change in life some
believe, on the other hand they are not totally worthless
as many others make them out to be.

Much of what is taught in the personal growth and
development field is just part of the story. Where someone
has focused on one or even a few aspects of what is
involved and highlighting just those parts, which gives the
impression that, that is all there is. Yes, in short change
it is simple, but there are many 'between the lines'
aspects that come into play, and one of these is
affirmations.

It's easy to allow ourselves to get consumed with one
aspect of life development when our focus is on just one
element, which is the case with many books and trainings.
It is good to study and focus on one aspect if this is
something specifically you feel you need to learn and user,
but don't forget about the whole picture.

Now those who say that just using affirmations will fix
your life, seem to 'forget' about the aspects of action,
among other things, which we can't escape as we are in this
physical reality. Yes, your thoughts and your feelings play
a crucial role in how you manage and develop your life, but
that's not all. You must take appropriate actions, it's
your job, your design here in this physical reality we
enjoy. If we weren't suppose to be involved physically why
are we here?

And, those who say affirmations are worthless are missing
out on a powerful tool that has some purpose when one is
working on their thinking. And, yes, your thinking is
absolutely critical as everything revolves around it. I
think why some people look down on the use of affirmations
comes from their reaction to others who say that
affirmations are all you need. But this all or nothing
reaction does not serve anyone well.

Here are some ways that affirmations are useful in your
self improvement work:

* Affirmations help set your tone. Your overall attitude
and feeling will affect what you think about. It affects
how you act and interact with others. It virtually colors
your day. Using affirmations will help direct your daily
tone.

* Affirmations help keep your thinking positive - on what
you want and away from what you don't want. If affirmations
serve no other purpose for you than this, it makes them
well worth using, if all you do is use affirmations to
replace unwanted thinking with desirable thinking you have
won big. A critical part of change is to learn to stop
focusing on what you don't want and rather focus on what
you do want.

* Affirmations help build mental discipline. As you learn
affirmations and actually use them regularly, you are
training your mind to a different way of thinking on a
daily basis. You are learning how you can change your
thought and how to keep it as you want. You are learning to
take command of your thinking by directing it rather than
allowing everything to be automatic.

* Affirmations help evolve your thinking in the direction
you want. As you develop affirmations for yourself, you are
thinking about and expanding your thinking in the areas
that you want to play a greater role in your life. The more
you work with developing affirmative and supportive
statements, the more you will discover what is possible.

Now, maybe if your thinking is already 100% supportive of
what you want in life, where you are going, and you never
slip into any thought of doubt, worry and what you don't
like, you don't need affirmations. Actually if this is the
case, you have already assimilated the affirmation like
thought into your everyday thinking. Your conscious mind is
already always on the positive, supportive congruent
thoughts of your ideal life as it is freely unfolding. For
anyone else, affirmations can be a useful tool.

Affirmations are a wonderful tool for effecting your
thinking, which is very important in your growth and
development, as long as you don't get stuck thinking that
this is all you need to do. It takes more than just your
thoughts to see results, but developing your thinking is
key to your knowing the right actions to take, when and how
to get the results you want.

----------------------------------------------------
John Halderman, I write about effective self improvement
methods, more specifically how you can bridge the gap
between information and creating effective results. To
learn more about what you just read here and to discover
how this can help you change your life, follow this
link-http://effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

Infidelity Today

2009-03-08T20:45:00.004-04:00

What is going on with infidelity today? It seems as though many people are just beginning to tolerate their cheating spouse. Many believe that the economy has a lot to do with this. In fact, the economy is not only destroying marriages, but it's making people tolerate misery.

Sources say that surveillance has declined by 75%. What does that mean? It means more and more, people are not using the services offered by a private investigator to catch their spouse cheating. This is terrible considering people still want to use the services, they just can't afford it.

People can no longer afford stopping affairs, so they are forced to tolerate them. If you can't afford the services of a private investigator, and think your spouse may be cheating, it's best if you learn how to uncover the affair yourself, and learn some sneaky, at-home Private Eye Tricks.

It's more than just checking their phone for text messages. And what about deleted texts? Do you know how to get them?

It used to be that you could look for hotel receipts or check the credit card statement, buy economic times are difficult, and even cheating spouses are cutting back.

Instead of a night at the hotel it's a romp in the back seat of the car in some tucked away parking lot. No more fancy dinners or weekend getaways.

I also just read a statistic from divorce lawyers. The poll suggested divorce is down 37%. This, on the surface, sounds like a good thing. But the reality is that people are just not spending money on this either. It's cheaper to stay with your spouse than divorce.

This is particularly true when the female is a stay at home wife. With unemployment at the rate it is, it's too difficult for her to find work, so without the support of her husband, she feels hopeless.

That said, she is likely to "deal" with her husband's affair rather than face the fear of being left alone with nowhere to turn.

To learn more about "How To Catch A Cheating Spouse", visit the link below to get a FREE 21 page report!

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Brandon Grittini is the author of the E-Book "Cheating Spouses Revealed". It's a comprehensive book that is instantly downloadable from the internet and can be delivered to you in a matter of seconds. You will be walked through an affair from how they happen, how to catch your spouse cheating, and finally, how to recover from the affair. To get your copy, visit http://CheatingSpousesRevealed.com and sign up for the FREE 21 page report!
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Marriage Inspiration: Do You Believe You Can Change?

2009-03-06T08:38:00.005-05:00

So things can get tough, I know. Especially in this economy. So I decided to make this blog more about creating and inspiring you, rather than only focusing on problems in relationships. I am going to post articles to move and inspire change in you, making you a happier person. This change WILL lead to a happier marriage.

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Do You Believe You Can Change, Or Not?

Personal growth and development is an ongoing process and
many people seeking to make changes in their lives know
that any success comes from changing their thought. But
also many find this to be not as straight forward as they
thought. With the movie, "The Secret" the Law of Attraction
has been brought out and embraced by many, but the movie
actually is just a basic introduction on the Law of
Attraction not a full blown 'how to' course.

Unfortunately many are left thinking that all they need to
do is think their way into any success or new life
experience. Managing your thinking is a large part of how
you make changes but not all there is to it. It does not
help that some teachers just do focus on the changing of
your thought without delving any deeper. This basic part of
The Law of Attraction deals with only your conscious
thought, but does not get into the power your unconscious
thought holds over your everyday thinking, feeling and
behavior.

One of the major factors that come into play when you are
trying to change your thinking is with your unconscious
thinking, and most importantly your beliefs. You have deep
seated beliefs that have been established, mostly without
your awareness, and are an integral part of your automatic
operating system. These beliefs are how you have chosen to
view yourself, the world, other people and everything that
goes on around you. How you see everything, how you react
to it and the actions you take are greatly regulated by a
set of beliefs.

Now, you are probably aware of some of your beliefs, but
just because you can't describe them all does not mean they
are not there. Many people either are not aware of the
extent of these beliefs or they choose to ignore them
hoping they can override them with changing their conscious
thought, it usually doesn't happen this way.

One of the beliefs that can have a profound affect on you
relates to your ability to make changes. If you have been
having difficulty making any changes you may be being
blocked by your beliefs related to your ability to change
or have anything better. Your beliefs are locked in to your
automatic unconscious operating system, so everything you
think is filtered through those resident beliefs. You can't
fool them or bypass them.

Here are some key questions to ask yourself, and you may
know the answers by some feelings you've had without
knowing exactly why you have had them.

* Do you believe you can instigate change in your life or
is that up to someone or something else?

* Do you believe you are worthy of the changes you say you
want?

If you can answer yes to either or both of these questions
or you have a strong feeling that you can, you have beliefs
that support those ideas. Giving those questions some deep
thought, you should know if they are true for you, as you
will likely have had related feelings in several areas of
your life.

Here's the bottom line, your thoughts and beliefs will
determine the outcome of your efforts. The difference is
that your conscious thoughts are visible to you and the
unconscious is not. And the unconscious patterns such as
beliefs have been verified and confirmed many times in your
life, these are 'known facts' to your unconscious mind.

Day in and day out, these beliefs are there to filter and
direct your thoughts, feelings and actions with regard to
the specific belief. As you follow the direction of these
automatic beliefs you are further validating them, thus
providing them with more proof and power within your
overall collection of thoughts.

All the efforts you want to make to changing your life will
go in vain if you hold a belief that you can't instigate
change, that you are unworthy of the change you want, or
that you must wait for it to be done to you or for you. If
this is the case with you, you will need to address this
belief before you can have, do or be anything different
from what you experience right now. Your current experience
is the result of your thinking, which includes your
beliefs. Your current life experience is the evidence of
what caused it.

So, if you have not been able to change after much effort,
there is a reason. Some thought patterns are preventing it
and it's most likely unconscious beliefs. You can actually
believe anything you want, you just need to know that you
can and that you can alter the existing beliefs if you
choose.

Your continued personal growth and self realization depends
on a firm belief that you can instigate change yourself,
and that all the power in the universe will support your
thoughts just as it does the commands contained in a small
seed The only difference is that you can change your
thought, but the seed must stick with what it came with.

----------------------------------------------------
John Halderman, I write about effective self improvement
methods, more specifically how you can bridge the gap
between information and creating effective results. To
learn more about what you just read here and to discover
how this can help you change your life, follow this link,
http://effectivepersonaldevelopmentblog.com

Relationship Advice: Creating Intimacy

2009-03-01T16:17:00.003-05:00

Creating Intimacy is a challenge for a lot of couples. Intimacy is more than something sexual that occurs in the bedroom. Intimacy is the emotional connection with you and the one you love.

The biggest fundamental building block to creating intimacy in your relationship is communication. Unfortunately, most couples are afraid to communicate. Fear can hold a lot of couples back. Fear is the biggest reason most people wed the wrong person.

Intimacy is creating by sharing your positive and negative experiences with your lover. It is not a challenging or threatening conversation; it's intent should be to move the relationship forward.

You should not be telling your partner everything they are doing wrong. It will certainly put them on the defensive, and prompt them to fire back at you, and possibly even run away.

What you should do to increase the intimacy is to communicate your FEELINGS! This is something that too few people do, and it affects the growth of their relationship. One thing that can never be challenged is your feelings. That is what makes them YOURS!

When you express how something makes you feel, your partner is more willing to accept that they need to change. In most cases, their intent is not to hurt you, so presenting it this way will make them receive it and commit to change.

If you were to challenge them by telling them that what they did was wrong, they wouldn't see it, and would attack back. This is because most of the time their intentions are good. If they didn't mean to hurt you, they can't accept it.

Creating Intimacy starts with communicating with your partner. Be sure to communicate in a non-attacking fashion, and your message will be better received.

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Brandon Grittini is the author of the book "Cheating Spouses Revealed". He studies relationships and how to make them better. If you are interested in learning more, you can get more advice for relationships by visiting the homepage of his new website, AdvisingCouples.com.

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Relationship Mistakes: 5 Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Relationship

2009-02-24T19:53:00.005-05:00

Relationship mistakes can really threaten your happiness. Most of the time, you don't even know you are making relationship mistakes. You think you're being romantic, special, and a warm, good lover.

But why do the same fights keep happening over and over again, then? Well, I guess everything isn't going exactly to plan.

Here is a little dating and realtionship advice to help you keep a happy relationship once you land the partner of your dreams. If you avoid these 5 common relationship mistakes, you're already better off than most of the poplulation.

These are not in any particlular order.

1. You Assume Too Much!--This is the biggest barrier to effective communication in your relationship. Don't assume you know everything about your partner, especially how they feel.

2. You Ask Lawyer's Questions--A lawyer's question is one that you already know the answer to. Lawyers are trained to ask questions this way. They are questions that build their case. Your relationship is not always about you being right. Ask detective questions, which get to the truth.

3. Rush Into Sex--You've probably done this one too! You can't rush into sex. You have to take things slow, and really get to know someone. This is hard, especially if you haven't been laid in a while, but if you have sex too soon, it becomes expected, and you may never establish true intimacy.

4. Treat Your Partner Like Crap--Would you treat your boss the way you treat your lover? Many times, we put our partner's down without even knowing it. We bully them, yell at them, and fail to respect them. These same things would get you fired at work, yet we expect our lover to stick around.

5. Settle For The Wrong Person--Why settle? You have to have respect for you first, and you can't let your fears allow you to settle for someone that doesn't make you happy. Learn to love being alone, and you will learn to be happy without the person who is ultimately destroying you.

There are many more relationship mistakes, but if you just learn these five, understand them, and avoid them, you will be well on your way to a happy relationship.

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If you liked this blog, share your comments. Do you have other mistakes that keep happening to you? Let other readers know by leaving a comment.

You can get more advice like this, from some of the best dating and relationship experts around, by visiting AdvisingCouples.com. They've partnered with some of the top dating and relationship coaches and put together the best tele-seminar series of it's kind. If you'd like to learn more, visit their homepage for dating and relationship advice.
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Dating Advice: Where Do You Sit?

2009-02-23T22:24:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure where you sit when you go out on a date, but for me, I'm the kind of guy who sits across from my date. I like to look at her, engage in the conversation, and show her that I really care about what she has to say.

I know some people love sitting next to each other, but I just don't get it. That's why when I read this article about a little where do you sit dating advice, I had to send it your way.

It's a pretty good article, and does share one theory about why people do sit on the same side of the booth. I never thought of it either. Have you?

Even if you don't go check out the article, although you should, it's pretty funny, let me know where you like to sit. Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that people sit on the same side?

Now stop paying attention to me and grab some dating advice!

Dating Advice: Weight Loss Secrets

2009-02-22T10:13:00.004-05:00

If you want some dating advice, here it is: take pride in yourself. It sounds easy, I know, but you have to make yourself look good.

Taking a little pride in yourself and your appearance shows some strong qualities about you and who you really are. It shows that you care, that you are prideful, that you have a little ambition. The opposite sex will appreciate that very much.

There is a lot you can do to show a committment to yourself, but today, I want to talk about weight loss.

Many people are afraid of diets, exercise, and whatever else they can think of. This is something to really concentrate on. This isn't just dating advice either, you really should look good for your partner if you are in a relationship, but most of all, you should really look good for YOU!

I don't care what people tell you. Most diets are fads. They lose steam fast. Honestly, how often do you hear someone talk about the "Atkins Diet" anymore?

Weight loss isn't easy, but there are things that can make it easier. You can exercise, of course, eat better, and find some of the tricks the starts use. The latter is the hardest to discover, because unless you're among the whose who in Hollywood, you're out.

Until now. I'm not making any promises or guarantees, but if you're serious about weight loss and want to try the newest Hollywood Diet, then you have to check out the Acai Berry from the Amazon.

This little fruit is like weight loss magic! If there is such a thing. And if you don't believe me, go to the Acai Berry Website and sign up for a FREE trial. They'll send you a months worth of pills to try out, and all you pay is shipping of $6.95.

And they have a 60 day guarantee. If you don't think this little magic berry is helping you to lose weight, then send back whatever you have left and they will refund your money!

So try before you buy. You don't have to take my word for it. They are backing up this Acai Berry with their own wallet.

So if you are serious about losing weight, and don't want to commit to an exercise program, then this little berry can help you lose your tummy for less than the cost of a gym membership.

If you've already tried this out, share your story by making a comment. That way everyone else will know that this is the real deal, and I'm not just making this up. But really, they are backing it up by letting you try it for free and giving you a 60 day money back guarantee.

If you are looking for more tips on how to lose your belly fat and get rock hard abs or a flat sexy stomach, then join the newsletter that keeps you updated.

Catch A Cheating Spouse: Fake Your Caller ID

2009-02-21T16:04:00.002-05:00

Catch your spouse cheating with this cool little trick I just learned about. If you ever wonder if your spouse is cheating on you, this is a stealth method for catching them.

You're not gonna find this trick everywhere, but there is an article about it that I posted on an article site. This could piss off a lot of cheaters, because it's a useful way to catch your lover cheating without them knowing it's you!

It's gonna piss the cheater's off because they think they will be talking to the person they are cheating with, and you will shock them with the reality that it's you!

Now, I could tell you more about it, but I'd like you to read the article I posted. You'll learn what the trick is, how to use it, and where to get it!

So go read my article, and learn how to catch a cheating spouse!

Twitter: What The Heck Is It?

2009-02-16T21:39:00.003-05:00

Social media is taking over. Facebook. MySpace. Digg. Stumble. And Twitter? What the heck is Twitter?

There is a good chance, since there are 100 million ACTIVE users, that you are using Facebook. So what the heck is Twitter, you ask again.

Twitter is a status update, kind of like the "what are you doing know" bar on FaceBook. Twitter is a community of people where you can share what you're doing now with all of your friends, called "Followers".

Unlike Facebook, you can have unlimited numbers of people following you. Every time you give an update, all of you followers will see what you're up to. Then they can comment directly to you, or they can comment indirectly to the masses.

It's a great tool to see what's up. And you can search Twitter to find information that interests you. For instance, in the search area, type in a topic you're looking for. Let's say, "dating advice". It will pull up every "tweet" where someone has used the term "dating advice".

Using this feature, you can:
1. Find new people to follow because they share common interests
2. Read their "tweet". It's usually a short message that will often direct you to a blog or article about what you're looking for.

Once you read their "tweet", you click the link they offer and read the message, which goes into more detail about the topic.

You can also just send a "tweet" to your friends to let them know you are going out to your favorite spot, or whatever. I'm telling you, it's great.

Get to know Twitter. Everyone is doing it. And the best part.....It's FREE!

Yeah. That's right. It costs you absolutely nothing to stay connected, let everyone know what you're doing know, and sift through information to quickly find exactly what you're looking for.

So go to Twitter. Register an account (FREE). And start searching and following people that interest you. Soon, you'll have a whole list of people following you wondering what you are doing now!

Be the popular person on the internet. Join now and tell your friends about it.

PS: You can get it to link directly with your Facebook profile, so every time you type in Twitter, it automatically updates in your Facebook profile! Awesome!

Relationship Advice

2009-02-15T23:29:00.003-05:00

Single. Married. Divorced. There are different problems each of us face in relationships, but typically, the same problems happen over and over again. Who wants access to information that will help them find happiness in their relationship?

Happiness seems hard to come by. You fight. You argue. And you fight and argue some more. Do you ever wonder why the same arguments keep happening? How many times to you ask yourself if you're with the right person?

Relationships aren't easy. What makes them particularly hard is that we ever never taught how to be in a relationship. There is no school, no textbook, no homework. It's all learn as we go. The closest thing to lessons we have is learning from our parents. But let's be real. How healthy is their relationship?

What if there was a course out there that could help you? What if you could avoid common relationship mistakes? Learn how to meet the right person? Learn what you're doing wrong? Learn how to get your partner to commit?

The program will soon be available. AdvisingCouples.com is developing a members only program with the top relationship experts in the country. It's an audio series, that will download directly to your computer. No shipping, no physical product, no need to feel embarrassed. It's totally discreet, and totally for you.

If you need relationship advice, they've got you covered. Single? They will teach you where to find the right person and what to look for in your mate. Married? They will teach you how to overcome the common struggles marriage presents. Divorced? Life isn't over. You can find the relationship that will make you totally happy, even after a divorce.

They've interviewed top experts to reveal secrets others have been hesitant to share. You can gain access to this program by visiting the site and registering so you can be notified when the doors to membership open.

Create a healthy relationship and find your true love!

Who Hates Valentines Day?

2009-02-14T20:05:00.003-05:00

Ah, another Valentines Day. And who knows what it really is, besides a day that you are told you should really love the one you're with, and if you're alone, a day to feel like a complete loser because you don't have someone to share it with.

If you're single, it really sucks! I remember when people would ask what I was doing on Valentines day. What are you supposed to say? It's like you're reminded that you don't have anyone, and you feel more alone. You also can't go hang out with any of your friends who have someone, because they are "celebrating" Valentines day.

And how many people complain about it. Men that they have to buy stuff for their lady, and women because it's really a false sense of love they get from their man. Why can't he buy you flowers on random days? Doesn't it mean less if he's told to do it?

Roses. More and more, even women hate roses. Why? Because it's so cliche! They want men to be a little more creative, so they feel a little more special.

Is Valentine's day a Hallmark holiday? Of course it is. If you bought a card, flowers, candy, or jewelry just because of what day it is, Hallmark won.

So what's your story? What are your Valentine's day thoughts? Do you love it? Hate it? I want to hear your reasons why. Just click on the comment tab below and let me know what you think. And if you're looking for relationship advice, there is a site that can help.

Connect And Commit

2009-02-12T23:27:00.003-05:00

I just finished recording an interview with one of the internet's most well known Relationship Author/Expert, Amy Waterman.

Amy agreed to share some information from her soon to be released book, "Connect And Commit: The Definitive Path To A Strong, Committed Relationship". We'll post a link to that book as soon as it becomes available. In the meantime, if you'd like to hear the interview, there is only one way to do so.

Visit our website, Relationship Solutions, and register for the Free Newsletter. We'll give you a free gift just for doing so. Then, when the interview is released, we will email you details of how you can get it!

Since most people can't wait, I will share a little about what Amy and I discussed. Naturally, we talked a lot about commitment, since that is what her new book is about, but we covered some other topics as well.

First, we covered 6 stages of every relationship.
1. Fall In Love
2. Reality Check
3. Power Struggle
4. Re-Evaluation
5. Reconciliation
6. Acceptance

In the interview, we discuss in detail more about each stage, but it's important to note a few key things. What is most astonishing is that only 1 out of 20 couples, or 5%, actually reach the final stage, Acceptance. That may explain the high divorce rates! This Acceptance stage is where we actually feel the overused term, "Unconditional Love".

In relationships, we often turn to "blame", when things don't go our way. We can blame our lover for why we are unhappy, but in reality, you must first look within yourself, and find your own imperfections. When you can spot your own imperfections, you can truly begin to grow your relationship. You will find that you are not perfect, and neither is your partner. The question is, whether or not you are perfect for each other.

I don't want to give away the entire interview, so if you want to learn more, visit Relationship Solutions, and register for our newsletter! If you want to look at some of Amy's work that is available to you, check out her site on Attracting and Approaching The Opposite Sex!

Don't be afraid to share your stories, comments, or questions. Click the comment tab below and tell us what's on your mind. And keep checking the blog. We'll tell you a little more of what Amy shared with us. Don't miss her advice on common relationship mistakes people make, and what to do when your partner won't commit!

Relationship Advice: Where Do You Need?

2009-02-11T22:02:00.003-05:00

Everyone seems to have relationship trouble at one point or another, and sometimes, you need a place to turn. Have you ever turned to the Internet to seek Relationship Advice?

It's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. In fact, it is one of the best places to turn. Not only do you get great advice from experts, but you are able to keep it confidential. The expert doesn't even know who you are, so you don't have to worry about it getting back.

What do people look for on the internet? Well, it varies depending on your situation. Some want to know where to find love, if the one they are with is the "right one", if they have a cheating spouse, or how to create a loving relationship.

The possibilities are as endless as the answers. So what do you look for when you turn to the internet for relationship advice? Let me know by leaving a comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Relationship Advice Blog

2008-11-12T16:57:00.003-05:00

I just started a new blog on Relationship Advice. I'm branching out and trying to cover topics such as dating, communication, trust, advice, divorce, marriage, sexuality, and even parenting.

Make sure you stop by and visit the blog at http://Relationship-Solutions.net/blog

Also, if you are a Relationship Expert, you need to stop by my blog and let me know if you're interested in a recording an interview. I'm putting together a teleseminar series to offer advice in different areas of relationships. Relationship Experts, please let me know if you are interested. Readers, let me know if you'd like to be notified when I release the series.

Stop by and leave a comment on the other blog and let me know what you think and what you want to read about.

To Your Relationship!

Brandon

10 Signs Of Cheating

2008-10-17T20:42:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been a while since my last blog. I apologize for that. I've been busy designing my homepage, and when it's finished, I think you'll agree that it is exactly what you need.

In the meantime, I've been publishing articles like crazy to try and help you with your relationship issues. In fact, I just published an article today that addresses top 10 signs of cheating.

Give the article a read and let me know what you think. Don't forget to check http://advice.lovedetour.com. I've been writing articles over there and they seem to be working well for people judging by the feedback I receive.

Until next time!

Financial Affairs: Tips to Overcome the Tough Economy

2008-09-29T18:59:00.003-04:00

So the recovery bill was shot down today...why? I don't know. It is a terrible move that will almost certainly push us into recession, and possible put us in a depression.

What happens now? Well, if they don't come up with another plan, your 401k, stocks, bonds, and all of your investments could be lost. Saving Wall St. saves Main St.

The Dow could push as low as 8,ooo, but let's hope not. More businesses will close, and unemployment could reach as high as 20-30 percent. Scary stuff!

What does it mean for your relationship?

Consider that some affairs are caused by financial insecurity and evaluate the status of your relationship.

Women especially seek affairs to financial reasons. They feel their spouse isn't providing for them, and fantasize about someone who can.

Recession Proof Your Marriage

In order to not be victimized by this recession, you have to put yourself in better financial situations, without compromising enjoyment and togetherness.
1. Stop spending on big ticket items...NOW! (TV's, Cars, furniture, etc.)
2. Improve your performance at work. If your company needs to slash it's work force, work hard so that it won't be you.
3. Find cheap alternatives to spending money when taking your spouse out. Instead of a trip out of town on the credit card or dinner and a movie, how about a day at the apple orchard and a good ole fashion fall hay ride.
4. Learn how to prevent an affair and how to catch your spouse cheating! Buy the book, "Cheating Spouses Revealed".

Don't let the economy affect your level of happiness in your marriage. Work at preventing the affair by focusing on how much you enjoy being with your spouse, and how much you appreciate everything they do. Let them know how much you love them, and you can get out of this tough time with your spouse by your side.

To Your Marriage!

Brandon

Secret Affairs: Sex After Infidelity

2008-09-25T14:12:00.003-04:00

Secret Affairs. They Suck!! But if you want to recover and share a life with your partner, there is a huge hurdle...Sex After Infidelity!

It's a big question for a lot of people, and it's important to share sexual love with your spouse to find total happiness. But it's tough because a major trust has been violated.

In order to have sex after infidelity you have to re-establish trust in the relationship. You have to communicate your feelings and establish what is really preventing you from sharing yourself with your partner again.

If you were the cheater, you have to be open and understand that your partner has been hurt, and it is up to you to prove your trust. If you were the victim, you need to understand that if you want the relationship to continue, you will eventually have to forgive your partner.

I've written an article that you can view by clicking here.

The article talks about having sex after infidelity. Enjoy!

To Your Relationship!

Brandon

Follow Through With All You Do

2008-09-23T19:19:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I blogged about setting your 100 day goals. I think goals are an important aspect of life. How do you achieve anything if you don't have a goal to shoot for?

I don't want anyone to think that I'm not setting goals of my own here. I do practice what I preach. Today, I committed myself to that New Year Resolution for the last 100 days, and I'm determined to live a healthier life down the stretch of 2008.

I've committed to a plan to lose weight. Not a diet, an intense, monitored regiment, complete with support from medical staff. Now, I'm not incredibly overweight, but I would feel a lot better if I lost about 20 pounds.

So why do I need a such a structured system with a support group? Because support groups keep you on track to achieving your goals. When you have someone pushing you, and even working toward the same goals as you, you are better equipped to achieve success.

So when you are setting your relationship goals, find it in you and your partner to develop a plan to achieve your goals, and find a support group to share your challenges and successes!

In the future, I will offer a private community for you to join, but in the mean time, log into our squidoo page and share your thoughts and questions.

You can log into our squidoo page at:

http://www.squidoo.com/groups/surviveanaffair

You can create an alias for your profile if you wan to remain anonymous. Share your thoughts!!

I'm also working on a new project right now to help you achieve ultimate happiness. For that project, I'm conducting case studies and surveys to help with research. If you'd like to complete a survey, join our FREE newsletter to be notified!

Register for the FREE Newsletter here:

http://cheatingspousesrevealed.com

If you can't wait until our next product is released, and you need instant help, pick up a copy of our E-book, "Cheating Spouses Revealed".

You can get your copy by clicking the following link:

http://cheatingspousesrevealed.com/choice.html

Remember, it's not what happens to you; it's how you handle it that will determine whether you are miserable or happy!

To Your Marriage!

Brandon

100 Day Resolution

2008-09-22T18:47:00.002-04:00

Today is a HUGE day for me. Each year, millions of people put together a new year's resolution, in which they set out to change certain behaviors in their life. For most people, this resolution has failed by February.

If you are one of those people, then you can start up a new resolution right now. The 100 day resolution. You see, today is September 22. That means their are 100 days left in the year, the perfect chance for you to finish strong and make the changes you need to make in your life and in your relationship.

If you need relationship help and are serious about being happy, then you have to click here!

100 days is plenty of time to take the next step to relationship bliss. Don't wait any longer. Finish the year on a happy note, and put your plans in action.

If you have maintained your resolution, this is also a great check point. I like to evaluate my progress toward my resolution at this time. I grade myself and see how I am doing toward my goal.

I have fallen off pace on some areas, but I've been able to help so many people that I have to say so far, I've been successful. My ebook has been released and I'm creating a new product as we speak, which aims to help build a bond in your relationship and connect with your partner like you haven't done in years!

I can't tell you too much about the new product yet, but you will learn more in the next couple of months. You can, however, buy the ebook now, by clicking the following link.

http://cheatingspousesrevealed.com/choice.html

100 days is a long time, and a great point to start establishing finishing goals for 2008! If finding happiness in your relationship is in your goals, I am recommending a great source for help below.

Good luck in your relationship success!

Brandon

Oprah: The Truth About Cheating

2008-09-18T23:24:00.004-04:00

Last week, Oprah had relationship expert M. Gary Neuman on her show, and there has been a lot of buzz created because of it. Neuman is the author of the book The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It and he took a lot of slack for some of what he had to say.

I thought his book was great, and I highly suggest that you grab a copy. If you watched the show, you know that he was giving it away for FREE for 2 days, but that time has long since passed.

Unfortunately, now the only way to grab a copy of the book is to pay for it. You can click below to buy a copy for yourself.

A lot of the controversy that surrounded the show was how different people interpreted what Neuman was saying. See, Neuman pointed out that in his research, he found that men didn't always cheat for sex, but rather because they were not feeling emotionally connected at home.

A lot of women felt that he was making excuses for men cheating, and giving them an out, all the while placing blame on women for their husband's affair.

I do not think this was the case at all. Rather, I think Neuman was pointing out that men are not just about sex, and that they do have certain emotional needs that need to be tended to. Similar to women, men need to feel an appreciation from their spouse, and a sense of value and importance.

In his study, which encompassed over 25,000 men, men really needed to feel important. Men are built with a desire to compete, and part of that is winning. It's important for a man to feel like a winner. At a minimum, he at least needs to be in the game.

Do you ever notice how passionate men get about sports? They get crazy involved, like they have some sort of stake in the outcome. But what about when the game is a blowout, or they feel there isn't enough time to come back? The bubble kind of bursts, and the room gets a little quiet. They lose interest in the game because they (their team) has lost or are out of it.

"The Truth About Cheating" is an excellent book that covers a lot of great topics to help prevent affairs, catch affairs, and recover from affairs. It's a perfect compliment to "Cheating Spouses Revealed". You can pick up "The Truth About Cheating" by clicking below.

You can also grab your copy of "Cheating Spouses Revealed" by clicking here!

Breach of Trust: Prevent the Affair

2008-09-16T22:25:00.003-04:00

At what point is the right time to seek help when you think your spouse is cheating? The answer, quite simply, is immediately. That's right, the moment you start feeling insecure about yourself or your relationship, it's time to seek help.

Whether your partner is having an affair or not, the fact that you are having these feelings is cause enough for concern. The truth is, even if your spouse isn't having an affair, there are some deep problems in your relationship that you need to control before they do lead to an affair.

If you think your partner is cheating, you probably aren't meeting each other's needs. And contrary to what many people believe, men also crave emotional attention! Men also are born competitors, so they also need to have a sense of winning.

This is not to say that women should lay down and do as their man says, but bait him and make him feel a sense of pride and importance in your life.

Men, even more critical for you is to make your spouse feel valued in the relationship. Women, even more than men, crave affection and conversation. Men need to learn to show compassion and care in a more sensitive manner.

I know you hear all the time about how you have to communicate better, and from me, you will often hear that the easiest way to communicate better is to start out by asking each other what they need and expect out of the relationship.

When you begin to understand what your spouse or partner expects from you and the relationship, you can focus on making their expectations a reality. Share with each other what you want and need, what you like and dislike. Don't be afraid to share your feelings. Keeping them bottled up will destroy you, your partner, and your relationship.

Staying involved with each other and satisfying each other are great ways to help prevent an affair. You should also find similar interests and activities to share with your spouse. Again, this is a great way to communicate. Asking your spouse what they like and matching them to your likes shows that you care. It will also give you a chance to spend some quality time together that you both will enjoy.

Dating your spouse is crucial. You dated throughout the courtship, but when people marry, they often stop dating and their marriage grows as stale as 3 day old popcorn. I believe that it is critical that you set aside some time for just the 2 of you. Even if you have kids, find a sitter and take your partner out. Make them feel special. Rekindle those emotions from prior to being married.

Another suggestion is to constantly flirt with your partner. Flirting can bring out some intense feelings. Flirting can arouse the mind and body, and build anticipation for what could happen next. It also shows your spouse that you still love them, want to be with them, and are happy that you are together.

These are just a few tips that I couldn't resist sharing with you today. If you would like to learn more on how to prevent an affair and learn other great ways to build a trusting and exciting foundation for your relationship, subscribe to our FREE Newsletter.

To Your Relationship!

Brandon

Unfaithful Spouse: Simple Reasons Cheaters Cheat

2008-09-15T13:11:00.002-04:00

It happens time and time again. You feel like your spouse isn't around, and that they are no longer their for you. Depression and anger take over, and you don't know what is happening. All people keep telling you is that you have to leave, or you need to communicate better.

It's always easy to diagnose a problem, but the real impact is finding a solution. That's what we are all about.

If you are having doubts about your partner, or think you have an unfaithful spouse, you are going to want to read the article that I just had published on Love Detour.

I give some great tips on why people cheat, and help provide some solutions to prevent cheating. If you are already having these feelings, something is wrong with your relationship and it's time to get help.

Make sure you get the help you need. If you can't wait for the answers, and need to know if your spouse is cheating, then you can go to my website and buy my book now.

You can also sign up for my free newsletter by clicking here.

The Secret:Affairs and Selfishness

2008-09-11T23:19:00.002-04:00

I've been getting a lot of emails relating to selfishness and the turmoil that it can cause. I made a little video to help understand selfishness and how it can be good.

Watch the Video

Love Detour: Follow Me There

2008-09-03T23:04:00.002-04:00

As summer comes to its unofficial close, it's time to move back to reality. If you were having relationship problems before, you might have made concessions during the summer months, but now that reality is upon us, the intensity of your struggles moves onward.

It's time to dedicate yourself to understanding what the underlying problems are in your relationship, and how to identify solutions to those problems. Better yet, you come up with the problems, and I'll help with the solutions!

Allow yourself some reflection time to really identify what problems you are having and what you are really expecting out of your relationship. Compare your expectations to your reality and analyze what you find. Is your partner meeting your expectations?

Chances are, the answer is no. But the next question becomes "Why"? It is quite possible, and very probable, that they don't know what you expect of them. How can they? Have you told them?

Complasency can take over a relationship after the courtship, and we tend to forget what we knew about our partner, and failed to evolve with them.

You have to update each other on what your likes and dislikes are, what your goals are, and what you expect from your partner and your relationship. Spending some time together and writing these down, and then discussing them is a great way to promote meaningful conversation.

Imporving your communication can help turn your relationship around. You have to work at understanding each other to make your relationship grow.

I found a great community that welcomes people like you and I. It is an entire social community dedicated to relationship success. It is a place where you can share your struggles and offer advice to other members. It is also a place where you can have experts at your hands, or just 1 click away. And best of all, it's FREE!

Now, I learned of this site when they invited me to be an expert on the advice side of the site. I encourage you to join the FREE community and follow my articles and comments while you're their.

The site is Love Detour, and I hope you'll join me and thousands of others just like us. It is unique in that it is a member site, but its free and while you have access to other members's advice and opinions, there is also an "Expert" division which you can also utilize for the obtaining the answers and support you need. Check them out at www.lovedetour.com

I Just Posted a New Video

2008-08-31T00:20:00.002-04:00

I just posted a new video for you to check out. It's a shorty but goody. In the video I discuss different needs of men and women and how failure to meet those needs can lead to an affair. Check it out!

http://www.viddler.com/explore/RelSol/videos/1/

Subscribe to my video list to get access to my future videos.

FREE Infidelity Support Community

2008-08-24T15:39:00.003-04:00

We have been working to put together a FREE support community, and we think we have established something that can work. If you are interested in joining our group to help you and others cope with infidelity, then visit us to become a member.

All we ask to establish membership is that you make a contribution in some way, by posting topics yourself or providing feedback to other members. We are a community of people in need of support, and the best answers come from other members who have been through the same things.

Your interest and feeback is appreciated by all who join. To help others and share your stories, click here.

Cheating Spouses Caught With New Product!

2008-08-18T20:20:00.002-04:00

The much anticipated release of my new product is here! If you want to learn to catch a cheating spouse, you have to visit my site to learn more.

I have just released a 120 page ebook that is sure to help you in your quest to prove the truth about your sposue.

But my book really has 4 compenents to help you.
1. It will share with you what clues your spouse is leaving you without them even knowing.
2. It will tell you what tools to use to catch your spouse in the act.
3. It will help you decide if you should stay in the relationship or leave.
4. It will give you tips for building a successful relationship, whether it is your current one or a future one.

So what are you waiting for? You've got to act now if you want to cash in on the FREE Bonuses! There are 3 FREE BONUSES!
1. 60 days of one on one email support
2. An invitation to an upcoming LIVE Tele-Seminar with an expert.
3. A one on one, 1 hour interview with me, Brandon Grittini, that is actually an extension of the book!

If you think your spouse is having an affair, then you have to get the book! Simply go to:
http://www.relationship-solutions.net and click on the link that says either "I think my husband is cheating" or "I think my wife is cheating". Enjoy!

Newsletter Started!

2008-08-15T08:37:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to announce to everyone that we are starting a newsletter to help identify problems and offer solutions in your relationship. If you need help learning what is wrong in your relationship, or if you wonder if your husband or wife is having an affair, be sure to subscribe to our newsletter to get the help you deserve.

Why Do Women Cheat?

2008-08-13T19:30:00.002-04:00

Cheaters, cheaters..and it seems men are the ones who are always labeled cheaters. Well, women cheat, too.

But why do they cheat? Men and women cheat for different reasons. The main reason men cheat is for sex, and more sex. Women cheat to fill an emotional void in their life. Another distinct difference is that men are more likely to cheat on a "whim", whereas women tend to think it through longer and plan their "fling".

To learn more about why women cheat, or how to catch your wife cheating, you can click the links or read more from my blog.

Even Famous People Have Affairs

2008-08-08T17:34:00.003-04:00

Even famous people are having affairs. What makes you think you are not at risk? The latest story comes from John Edwards, the former presidential hopeful. He just announced that he had an affair with a woman in 2006, but that he is not the father of the 5 month old daughter the woman has.

Add Edwards to the list of others and we see that infidelity is becoming more and more common for many reasons. First and foremost, there are just greater opportunities with most homes consisting of 2 working parents. Another key reason for the increase is having a global economy. Globalization means that more and more workers are out of town traveling for business, separating themselves from their spouses and opening up time to cheat on their partner.

None of this makes anything right. Just because it's John Edwards or any other famous person, doesn't mean you have to tolerate infidelity.

Men: How to Talk to Women

2008-08-03T18:14:00.004-04:00

Attention Men:

I have been checking my inbox from the weekend, and it seems I am getting several emails asking for advice on how to talk to women. If you've been sitting at home and wondering why you are spending your weekends alone, you have to click this link.

This guy, Jack Rockwell, has written an awesome manual on how to talk to, date, and pick up women. The best part, is this isn't written by some 70 year old man. It is written by a young guy, with new, proven techniques. He is not out here sharing any outdated techniques. He will show you how to gain the confidence you need using methods that will work TODAY!

If you want to learn more about what he has to say, be sure and click the link...you won't regret it!

Does My Spouse Still Love Me?

2008-08-03T17:31:00.003-04:00

You have been married for quite a while now, and you feel like the interest from your spouse is fading. It's a natural feeling, and for good reason. Sometimes it drives you nuts and you can't help but wonder, "Does my spouse still love me?"

Courtship:

When we start dating someone, we do our best to try and impress them, making them believe we are the perfect person for them. If we really like this person we are trying to impress, we work harder and harder at trying to get them to like us. We constantly talk to them, learn who they are, what they like and what they dislike, becoming more and more familiar with them.

We care about what kind of day they had and how they are feeling. Then, after spending time courting this person, we feel like they are the right one, and think we can spend forever with them.

Upon this discovery, you propose entering into a marital relationship. But what happens when the courtship is over and the marriage begins?

Marriage:

Typically what I find is that people feel like marriage is the end all, and that they can just go through the motions to make it last. But NO marriage will last with that type of attitude. In fact, no relationship would. You would not be married to the person you are if you didn't work everyday and showing interest and proving that you care.

Your caring attitude and unconditional love is what drew you to your spouse in the first place. You likely could have found someone else to marry if you worked at another relationship as hard as you worked while you courted your spouse.

Why stop, then? People often get lazy when they get married. We see it in all apsects. Too often you stop dating your spouse, stop caring for them, stop wondering how their day was, what new things they learned today, and what new interests or dislikes they have.

If you fall into this category, you've probably gotten lazy at other things as well. You may not try as hard to maintain your appearance, you may not exercise, perform activities you otherwise used to, or even cared as much about yourself.

It Takes Work:

Marriage takes work to sustain. Keep paying attention to your spouse and yourself. Keep doing the things you did when you were courting your spouse. When you are unsure of what to do or how to act, by all means, ask your spouse. This is a great way to build communication with your spouse, ask them how they are doing, if they are happy, and what more you can do to make them even happier.

Your spouse will appreciate that you've paid attention to their needs and that you still care how they feel. With improved communication, you can keep learning more about your spouse grow together every day. You may find new things to do together, new places to go, and increased love and affection between the two of you.

Remember, marriage is not an end to anything. Keep working at your marriage and you will live a long and happy life with your spouse.

Must Read Article

2008-07-29T13:34:00.004-04:00

I know I tend to focus my blogs on affair topics, but it's also important to focus on staying together. All too often, we are focused on the negative aspects of our lives and relationships, and we forget about the positives.

Sometimes, the power of the law of attraction kicks in, and even though something may not be really going on, we create a problem by focusing our attention on proving ourselves right.

My advice is to focus your attention on the good things you have going on in your relationship. Focus on dating your spouse or partner, as marriage is a life-long committment. Notice the word "comittment." It doesn't mean once you get married you stop working on making things the best you can be. It means work everyday to make you and your spouse happy.

There is a great artile that you must read. It shows how critical we can be at times, and how we can overlook the true meaning of what we are saying. You can check it out at http://hubpages.com/hub/Men-Are-Dogs

Don't forget to follow the link. If you like the article, leave a comment and become a fan so you can read more article like this.

Home Private Eye Kits

2008-07-28T19:31:00.004-04:00

Because infidelity is becoming more and more common today, people are becoming more and more suspicious. They may even have a good right to be suspicious. Of those who think their spouse may be having an affair, 85% of women and 50% of men are CORRECT!

That is a staggering statistic.

While there are several reason that contribute to why a person may have an affair, I want to focus on trying to put an end to the doubts you are having and prove once and for all that your spouse is or isn't having an affair.

You could take the old fashioned approach and hire a Private Investigator, but the price they charge for what you get can be absurd. Besides, what if you spouse isn't cheating? How much do you really want to pay for that?

I have done some extensive research and found a great on-line company that can offer so many great products to make you an "At Home P.I." , if you will. They have everything you need, and everything you can imagine.

Clicking the following link will take you to their site:

http://www.spygear4u.com/index.asp?PARTNER=grit29

You can find semen detection kits, personal lie detectors, GPS systems, computer spy ware, hidden cameras, background checks, and email search systems. Now, they have multiple products in multiple categories with varying price ranges, so you are sure to find one that will fit your budget and your needs.

One of my favorites is the personal lie detector. It is value priced and works great! Simply record the persons voice, discretely of course, then, when you think you are being lied to, record their voice again. The little thing will tell you if they are lying!

They also have GPS systems that can be placed in a car, and through the easy to use computer software, it will tell you the location of the vehicle! Amazing!

Click the following link to see all of their products:

http://www.spygear4u.com/index.asp?PARTNER=grit29

They are sure to have something for you. Just browse their products, read the information, find the one you like, and ta-dah! You will be shipped your product with a discreet name on your credit card and discrete packaging at your door!

Check out the link to become your own Personal P.I!

http://www.spygear4u.com/index.asp?PARTNER=grit29

Thanks for checking the blog. If you have any comments, feel free to ad them. I'd love to hear what you think.

Affairs and Infidelity

2008-07-26T14:09:00.004-04:00

I have a lot of people asking me about affairs lately, and maybe they have good reason. There are a lot of studies out there that try and gather statistics on the number of affairs. The problem is, affairs are so secretive that even the data we do have is probably skewed because people still don't feel comfortable telling the truth in anonymous studies.

What we do have suggests that affairs are very much common place. There are several reasons for this, but one of the greatest reasons is the growth of women in the workplace. Now, I don't want to suggest in any way that I blame women for this, because it is absolutely not there fault. However, their presence in the workforce has made infidelity much more accessible.

There was a time when the majority of women were housewives; they stayed at home and cared for the children and the home while the husband was out at work providing financially for the family. While the husband was at work, his place of business consisted of mainly men, with very few females. It would be very difficult to strike up a workplace affair. It would also be difficult for a woman who is a stay at home mother to carry out an affair while she is with the children.

With the growth of women in the job market, affairs become much more simple to execute. A work-place affair can grow from a simple business lunch, a dinner meeting, an after work cocktail, all the way to a full fledged affair.

Affairs aren't always a plan. Sometimes they really do "just happen." That is not, however, an excuse for having one. You see, a lot of the time, these meaningless lunches and dinners help to facilitate a friendship. They begin very casually, as most friendships do, where you really just start to learn a little about the other person. Then they begin to grow. You begin to share your goals and dreams, and confide in the other person by sharing the difficulties you are having in your life.

Soon, these friendships grow to feel more like dating. You can share so much more with this person than you can with your spouse. Why? This person is their for you, to listen to you, to comfort you. Your spouse used to be like this, but now everything turns into a fight. You can't share your true feelings.

Most of the time these affairs don't work out. In fact, when a couple that was having an affair decides to get married, the divorce rate is above 80% for that couple. See, when you are having this affair, it is a false relationship. Affairs, while tempting, lack the emotion necessary to sustain a long term status. They ignore faults in on another, which is interpreted as a false feeling of love.

So if you are having problems with your current relationship, my advice is to not rush into any type of affair. You were married to the person you are for a reason; you love that person. So work on that marriage and be their for your spouse. Marriage is not easy. No one ever claimed that is was.

The biggest lie we live in our lives is the courtship of our spouse. We try to impress, to become this wonderful person that we think the other wants to be with. Then, when we reach the pinnacle, marriage, we quit working at it, and expect something different. Why is it that during the courtship we work so hard to please our partner, but once we are married we stop?

You have to go back to working on your relationship. Start from the beginning. Think about the things you did together that you enjoyed, the conversations you shared, the things that brought you together, that made you fall in love. Do these things. Communicate with your spouse all of your feelings, and listen while they communicate yours. Marriage does take a little work to be successful, so work at it.

If you quit working on your marriage, you will have difficulty in it. To expect something different and not work at it is the definition of insanity. Spend some time learning your spouse again, and an affair won't even be a thought for either of you!